This is Craigslist in Seattle...

This is a post I put on Craigslist awhile back.

I just don't care anymore y' know?

My wife left me awhile back, I got laid off, Craigslist is free and I've got nothing but time. But unlike my wife this disc changer is still sitting around my house, just not getting fatter...

Anyway, the title says it all... If you can't figure out what I'm selling then forget about it, I won't sell it to you. I require the IQ and the basic reading skills of a 2nd grader to do business on Craigslist. If this is you, then you're in luck. I might have the 92-96 OEM (original equipment manufacturer) BMW 6 disc changer for you.

Let me get a few things out of the way.

First, the changer costs $50... Let me say that again, $50... For all of you skimming over this part I'll say it (type it, for you internet trolls out there, Rob Larsen I'm thinking of you right now) one more time, $50 (fifty dollars). So, no, I will not sell it for $25, or $30 or even $49.99. Unless you have a Federal Reserve Note with a big'ol "50" on it or a number of smaller denominated pieces American currency that when added together equal $50; I will not sell it to you... Not that hard to figure out, seriously.

Second, before anyone asks me if this will work in their e30 or their 1997 e36 or their e46; ask yourself this. HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW? According to a 3 minute search on this really crazy thing call the internet, it's made for a 92-96 e36. So will it work with something that isn't an 92-96 e36? Buy it and find out, I don't care.

Third, did you notice at the top of the page where I said that I was interested in trades?... Go ahead and check real quick... Now double check... Did you see where I said that I wanted to trade??? NO!!! YOU DIDN'T!!! If I wanted to trade this for something I wouldn't have said that I was selling it, I would have said that I wanted to trade for something, Jesus Christ! Seriously, I'm trying to get rid my shit, not trade my shit for your shit. If I keep doing that then my shit and your shit will keep piling up until we're both covered in shit...

Let me put it another way: The older I get the more shit I get. If I trade my shit for your shit then my net shit gain/loss is equal to 0, I haven't gained any shit but I haven't lost any shit either. What I need is my net shit gain to be at least -1. I have made this graph to illustrate.






(If you can't read or don't understand this graph then turn your voter's registration card back into the state because you're a fucking retard.)

Finally,

IT'S A FUCKING CD PLAYER!!!

This is a list of questions that I was LITERALLY asked about this changer and my responses to them:

Q: Will it make my car cooler?
A: No.

Q: Will it get me laid?
A: Doubtful.

Q: Will it make me money?
A: Absolutely.

Q: Will it be a conversation piece?
A: I really don't see how.

Q: Will it play cassette tapes?
A: Go fuck yourself.

Q: Will it allow me to listen to CDs in my car?
A: Yes.

If you want this CD Changer then reply to this ad.

I don't want to look at this anymore. Every time I see it, it's like looking at my wife's ass getting fatter.